Watch that manhole cover?!

It’s sounds bizarre, but it’s absolutely true. In the dead of night people are now out stealing sewer and cast-iron manhole covers (the sort that weigh between 20-30 kilos or even more).

The practice has been reported all over the country. In Sintra, in only one night, 125 drain covers disappeared. A real feat of tenacity! Apparently nothing puts these new crisis-age thieves off: not the tar stuck round the rim, nor the gunk accumulated over time – not to mention the cockroaches, rats and general stink of the whole performance.

Guttering grills aren’t safe, either. In fact, everything made of metal that can be found in public places these days may not be there next time you look. That means taps, drinking fountain dispensers, electrical wiring, waste paper containers…

Our source for this sorry news comes from an unfortunate reader who didn’t notice the hole in his road until… well, we don’t need to tell you what happened.

The same esteemed client told us that a large number of stolen cast-iron covers were found not long ago by the GNR under a carob tree in a scrapyard near Albufeira – a borough that has also suffered at the hands of manhole raiders.

Before the crisis, late-night pilfering like this centered on copper – a metal whose value has actually risen due to use of it in new technologies. But these days, with crisis upon crisis crashing down on us, anything goes.

We know for instance that in the rural Algarve there are farmers who now don’t even bother to replace things like brass taps or irrigation attachments – because they know it’s simply a matter of time before they’ll “disappear” again.

There’ve even been cases of cast-iron gates being pulled from their hinges, complete with padlocks and chains!

But you’ve got to see the funny side, too. When you consider that the we’re in the digital era of “phishing” over the Internet and sophisticated financial fraud, it’s hard to believe that good old-fashioned thieving is making a comeback…

In the North, we hear, there’s a company looking for a solution to this worrying trend: drain covers made of fibreglass, or reinforced concrete.

Happily, neither material is worth anything - otherwise the whole country could soon disappear … down the drain!!